Submission: New Jersey Route 439
Riley Taggart is a patently absurd yet incredibly insightful writer, improviser, and friend. Here’s what might be the best Welcome Sign ever produced, inspired by a random Wikipedia article. If you’re interested in submitting something, click here!
Welcome to New Jersey Route 439! If you’re reading this sign you must have at least six gym badges! Congratulations! Along the way you’ve encountered the feral beasts that are scattered throughout the wild American grass. Using your skills in the art of cat wrangling, you and your furry team of six felines have overcome great challenges. You’ve fought off the Broofalo Bros of the Mid West, survived the outraged Bigotes from the Deep Southlands, made nice with Jamaicoons and rode with their fishing vessels, and you’ve even investigated the mysterious activities of the infamous gang known as Team Jumpsuit and the Labstars. Now you’ve made it to New Jersey, the land famous for its difficult roads and treacherous beaches. This land is littered with the dangers of Schoonkis, Gouldbergs, and Salversteins. Be wary adventurer, for you are about to face the biggest fight of your life.
Pictured: the biggest fight of your life.
Wikimprov 